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I Hate Goodbyes

Danny Ray left yesterday afternoon to head down to the Virgin Islands and help out with the hurricane relief mission. It’s his first deployment, if this is really even considered one. He will be gone for approximately 30 days. Maybe more, maybe less. Who knows. All I know is that 30 days is a long. freaking. time.

Saying goodbye at the airport

A lot of people don’t know this, but in the almost 9 years that Danny Ray and I have been together, we have had to say “goodbye” to each other at least 50 times. Maybe even more. Most couples I know have hardly ever been separated for more than a few days, yet my husband has been gone almost 1/4 of the year every year since we’ve been married. Granted, he’s in the Army and that’s part of his job. It’s the reason why I only work part-time now. He travels so much that it became way too stressful having to juggle working full-time and taking care of Jasmine (and now Jaiden). First and foremost, being a mother is my job, as well as being a supportive wife.

I don’t usually associate myself as an “Army wife” because of all the stereotypes that go along with it, but I am one. I won’t lie, the military lifestyle is not for everyone. All the traveling, the long work days, all the unknowns. My dad was in the Air Force for 25 years, so this lifestyle is all I know. It can be very lonely. No, actually, it is very lonely. Not just for me, but also for him. I never stopped to think about it until recently, but when he goes away somewhere, he is literally alone. At least I have the kids and Rambo, but he has nobody. But even with Jasmine, Jaiden, and Rambo, I still feel alone. I don’t really have many friends here — none that I hang out with anyway. Most of the time, the only adult interaction I have is going to work on the weekends. I know, exciting isn’t it?

It’s overwhelming taking care of the household by yourself. I give a lot of props to single parents because it is hard. You never realize how much help you have until it’s gone. In my case, it’s cooking dinner. I’ve never liked cooking. I’m not very good at it and I’m lazy, so Danny Ray has always been in charge of cooking while I do everything else around the house. When he’s gone, it’s pretty much my worst nightmare. The only upside to him being gone is that our house stays clean for longer than a day, lol. Between him, the kids, and Rambo, our house is usually a disaster.

I really don’t know what the point of this blog post was. In a way, I guess I just really needed to vent. I’ve had a lot going on and have also been dealing with some personal family stuff, so it’s been a difficult week. I also wanted to give people insight on my life because it may seem like everything is perfect, but it’s not. It just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover.

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